Medley on Growing Up

We're off to Never-Never Land
How the hell did I get here so fast? I don't wanna grow up
I'm too young for growing up just yet
If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up
The whole town wants to know when I'm gonna grow up, but you know I never will
What's my age again?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
Can the child within my heart rise above?

Medley on Longing

I kinda wanna be more than friends
Hold me closer tiny dancer
Uh-oh, I want some more
If you have a minute why don't we go
Uh-oh, what are you waiting for?
Tell me your secrets
Somewhere only we know
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Tell me when you're gonna let me in
Take me, baby, or leave me
Nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
Oh take me back to the start

Some of the Best LOLCats Ever

Time Heals All Wounds

Before I went to college, I'd only been to my paternal uncle and grandmother's funeral. And while they were both obviously depressing events, I wasn't as close to them as I was to other relatives. Four years later, I've now lost my maternal grandmother (and last grandparent) who inspired and comforted me and my uncle who helped keep my family together after my grandmother's passing. I almost lost at least three friends to suicide and now just lost Dustin. Needless to say, my time in college has had its fill of trials to accompany the good times. On days like these when all I want to do is stay in bed and stare at the wall, my friends and family help me get through. It's when I'm alone that it's the worst. Watching a cute cartoon with a friend, crying in my mom's arms, and getting myself outside to run in the rain all help me. There's no one way to deal with grief, but for me, giving myself a few days to cry and be depressed followed by constant distraction seems to help. The pain may never completely go away, but it can get easier to the point where you don't notice it. Never underestimate the power of family and friends.

Grief

A good friend of mine and old crush passed away today. He struggled with depression for years and finally lost his battle. It hasn't even hit me yet and probably won't for a while since this is such a sudden shock. All I can think to say is please know that there will always be someone there for you, even if it's a complete stranger on the end of a help line. You never know who or just how much people love you until it's too late. So live without regrets, take chances, and if you love someone let them know.

Rest in peace Dustin

Leggings

I'm convinced more and more every day that women do not look in the mirror before they leave the house. I know I'm no fashion expert, but there is one fashion fad that I will never be able to get behind. Leggings as pants. And not just any leggings. Tight spandex leggings that could double as tights. This Peter Pan look is beyond wrong. At least in Neverland or Shakespearean times they wore some form of pants over their tights. These leggings are not only idiotic, but they're unflattering and nonsensical. The point of tights/leggings is to cover up your thighs if your dress is too short or to add some extra warmth. Leggings as pants are just another way for women to show off their butt and wear as little as possible while getting away with it. However, this fashion choice leaves nothing to the imagination and gives off the impression of being easy as opposed to classy. With this look, one might as well not be wearing anything and just go out in their panties and shirt. Please ladies, take a long look in the mirror before you leave your house and consider putting on some pants.

April Fool's Day Mishap

April Fool's Day has always been a somewhat traumatic day for me. When I was younger, my older sister loved to torment me and play pranks on me, even when it wasn't a holiday calling for such behavior. She would force feed me crayons and claim they were medicine, sign me into servitude, and blame me for absolutely everything. Needless to say, I was scared out of my wits come April Fool's Day. One year, I begged and begged my sister not to do anything in the middle of the night as a prank and, even though she promised she wouldn't, I was still in terror as I fell asleep. In my innocent slumber, I felt a pricking on my forehead. I batted it away and it persisted, getting more and more irritating. Finally it woke me up and as I turned around me to see what it was, I saw a dark figure dart below my headboard. Terrified that someone had broken into my house and was trying to kidnap and/or kill me, I screamed out bloody murder for my mom. Sure enough, my sister popped up from below my bed and told me to stop screaming. Now, just to give a bit of background information, I had a rash the previous few days and my arms were itchy. My sister thought it would be hilarious to paint little red dots all over my face, cover me in baby powder to make me look pale, and spray hair spray around my face so I didn't feel well and thought I had the chickenpox. This was hands down, one of the most terrifying ways I could have woken up that night. So please, enjoy this holiday responsibly and try not to traumatize your siblings.

Escapism

There's one place in the world I always find my escape. My old hammock keeps me safe from all that consists of my life and all that I want to shut out of it. The feel of the worn ropes cradling my limp body makes me feel as if I'm home within myself. It doesn't matter whether it's snow or a summer breeze on my face, as long as I can feel myself safely swaying and look up at the endless nothing of the tree overhead. Branches stretch up directly over my head as they reach for the sky. No matter how much time passes, they'll never reach the clouds and yet that's alright. Birds come and go, leaves fall as they may, and nothing else matters. Life doesn't exist outside of my hammock. I am timeless as long as I lay here. I have no age, I have no gender, I have no worries, I have nothing to my name as long as I'm here. Nothing can phase me for these five, maybe ten perfect minutes. It's when I lay in my hammock that I am truly myself and no one at the same time.

The Best Way to Die

After reading through uncyclopedia.wiki.com's list of 100 best ways to die, I've come to the conclusion that the best way to die is not currently on the list.

The best way to die is by jumping off an airplane filled with puppies and kittens with a banner of some noble cause following the plane (might as well do something altruistic before kicking it). But to make this even better, the thrill of the fall would be heightened by watching The Princess Bride or The Godfather on an iPhone or other portable movie-viewing device (this post is in no way supporting or supported by any technological/company anything), with a huge crowd of cheering people below chanting the person's name. Now I realize that no one wants to have their epic death tainted by a group of horrified people at impact. That is why a very deep, concealed pool that would explode with whipped cream, confetti and fireworks after landing in it. That way, everyone gets a good show (minus the shock of a dead person) and the last thing tasted is delicious whipped cream. On a side note, the best way to skydive is the same with the exception of an parachute or a much much deeper pool equipped with a trampoline.

*This peculiar and dark topic was brought to you courtesy of my housemate*

Getting Older

I recently turned 22 and it really hit me just how differently people think about birthdays. A lot of this variability has to do with increasing age (no child hates their birthday), but it's mainly dependent on the person's attitude towards getting older. Admittedly, I find getting older to be a really stressful thing and I'm starting to dread birthdays more and more. I feel like Peter Pan in the sense that getting older feels too much like "growing up" and losing your childhood joy. Everything younger people look forward to when growing up is pretty much achieved by their 21st birthday- teenager, driver's license, r-rated movies, alcohol. But after that, you ask yourself what you have to look forward to. I caught myself doing this and yet I knew it was ridiculous since I'm only 22. I have my whole life ahead of me and plenty to look forward to. I'm about to start out my life with a new apartment, job, the works. But these things worried me instead of excited me. The key to getting excited about getting older and facing new challenges and opportunities is to view each struggle as an adventure. Moving out and finding a full-time job can be absolutely terrifying, but if you can bring yourself to see it as the exciting adventure of your life as opposed to the dark unknown, getting older and facing grown-up responsibilities will a much more positive experience. Even future responsibilities of owning a home and supporting your family can be a lot less stressful if you try to think of it as playing house. We've all been children who have idealized adult responsibilities, and so in many ways we're all still children at heart playing out our fantasies. There's a reason why children play house and get excited about birthdays. Of course part of the birthday excitement is due to the cake and presents, but I think a good part of it is that they can still see the appeal of adult life. Taking ourselves too seriously and letting the negative sides of life get to us will start to take that childlike excitement away. Taking a step back to put your life into perspective makes life a lot less stressful and a lot more fun.

A Note on Keeping Busy

No one likes to be bored, but keeping busy can have more benefits that merely avoiding boredom. Constantly giving yourself new things to work on and improve is a good practice to keep. For the many people who suffer from depression, anxiety, and other psychological challenges, keeping busy can work as an excellent distraction. It would be especially beneficial for those who struggle with addiction. One of the most common reasons for turning to drugs is to avoid painful aspects of reality. However, by keeping yourself busy, time goes by much faster and you aren't as focused on things that you try to avoid via drugs. Certain projects to keep busy and distracted could be getting in shape, teaching yourself an instrument, or taking up art. Constantly improving yourself and finding things to do will work wonders for improving your attitude towards stressors and increasing self esteem.

Post Graduate Plans

As I get closer to graduation day, the dreaded question presents itself from every direction: "What are you going to do when you graduate?" Very few people enjoy being asked this question, even when they have a set plan for their future. The unknown of "the real world" and the future sets most students on edge, which is only made worse by the lack of a plan. Based on popular example, we're programmed to believe that in order to succeed we must go to high school, followed by college, then graduate school, then a steady job. But between the tests and work shifts, when are we supposed to really live? Are we really expected to wait until our children are in college or when we retire? Something that should be kept in mind during this stressful time is that we aren't being put on a timer. Sure, it would be great to get a steady job and have a good income by the time those student loans kick in, but it's ok to breathe between graduation day and then. This is why when someone asks me the dreaded question, I respond with, "I'm going to travel after I graduate. After that, I guess I'll find out." Don't get me wrong, I'm very conscious of my future and have been brought up to think about my career. I've always had at least one job since I was fourteen and have been going to my college career center since freshman year. I know what my interests are and I know what I want to pursue, but that doesn't mean I need to have my lifetime career set just yet. I want to have options and the ability to pursue those options if I'd like to. After I graduate, I'm taking a year off to travel, volunteer, and pursue my options. I want to go to the UK and meet new people, learn how others live, and go on adventures. I want to have the time for internships and volunteering so that I can really, truly know what I want to do before I fully commit to it. I'm excited about finding my calling and committing to it, but I also acknowledge that I could be happy with multiple options right now. If you know what you want to do, then great. But for someone like me who has a few things in mind, I suggest taking time to really think them over. Granted, I'm still an undergraduate with a few part-time jobs, but I would like to think that a confident 23-year-old with a fixed goal in mind is more employable than an unsure 22-year-old who feels pressure to move on to the next step in life.